Featured image provided by Ferrari.com

New Italian Desire Machine

If you haven’t heard by now Ferrari unveiled a new, red, four wheel desire-machine and everyone is talking about it. The Ferrari 812 Superfast, a mid-engine coupe powered by a 6.5 liter V12 packing 780-800 Italian stallions behind its prancing horse emblem. Another V12 Ferrari is great news because that means we will be seeing a new supercar power sliding around corners on YouTube in the near future. However, the main feature people have been writing about is the car’s name, “Superfast.” Some say it’s a “correct” name, literally speaking I would agree, but I still believe it’s a waste of creativity.

Remember the Ferrari LaFerrari? Another gorgeous car with a head scratching name. It’s supposed to be seen as the “definitive” Ferrari. The absolute top of the line example of what Ferrari can produce. I never understood the logic behind that because it wasn’t the last Ferrari, nor was it the last V12, so what’s the point in naming a car as “the” if you’re just going to build something more impressive a few years down the line? It’s like slapping a movie with the title “the Greatest Action Movie of All Time” and then making a sequel the following year.

812 Superfast

Why Superfast? This car will replace the Ferrari F12 Berlinetta. The numbers are definitely super fast with 0-60 times being reported as under 3 seconds and a top speed of “211 mph plus.” The car will be at the Geneva motor show next month where more information will be thrown at auto journalists in a race to see who can post their content first. Until then I have to talk about the name.

Super car names go beyond marketing campaigns and rap song lyric worthiness. The name of an exotic, six figure, sports car is what kids will be shouting at cafeteria lunch tables during debates over which car is best. Maybe that’s why they named it Superfast, it’s an easier name for kids to yell out than Berlinetta or Maranello.

What’s Wrong with Creativity?

My day job is working in marketing. I write content for my employer and main issue I’m always getting called into meetings for is that I have to lower the quality my content. I hear things like “that title is too abstract” or “the vocabulary is too advance you need to dumb it down.” I’m not writing Shakespeare here people.

I understand that the goal of certain marketing campaigns is to attract as many people as possible and that means having to sometimes cater to the lowest degree of free will thinkers. It is easy to feel like creativity suffers for the sake of making money. I think the Ferrari 812 Superfast is an example of that. Let’s face it, the name “Superfast” is incredibly easy to market. The name tells you what the car is all about and what it will do if you sit inside the driver seat. But it’s not creative, and it’s the same adjective a 5th grader would use to describe it.

The Italian language is beautiful. Speaking fluent Italian can make anyone sound like they are singing. Plus, it’s tradition to see the word “Ferrari” in the same sentence as words like “gorgeous”, “stunning”, and “beautiful.” So why didn’t Ferrari give their creation a better name? Having so much material to work with? I hate to see the list of names that were rejected before settling on Superfast. Was “the Red Duh” already taken?

It’s a Ferrari in the year 2017; it’s safe to assume the car is going to be very fast and have more technology than a MIT student’s laptop. Why do we need to be spoon fed with a name like Superfast? I know super cars are supposed to target the 9 year old in all of us but don’t insult our intelligence. These cars are all about fantasy and imagination. Day dreaming about driving it along the French Riviera or blasting through the Isle of Man. It deserves a name that justifies its soul, not it’s performance stats.

Superfast’s Possible Future

Like all exotic cars. When the Superfast goes on sale, some will be purchased and immediately be modified by owners who feel they can improve it. Others will buy the car as a brand accessory and spin out into an insurance claim. The collectors will horde them in air conditioned warehouses for future payouts at auction. Frankly, the only models that will really be driven as intended will be the cars given to auto journalists, and passionate owners who understand car control.

 

I am very excited to see this new Ferrari in action. However, like with LaFerrari, every time I’ll see it all I will be able to think about is, “Why the hell did you name it that?”

 

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